I use a central "deleted: folder an move deletes there via the filter system. The only problem with that is they exist in both folders. and in my case since I use a central inbox and filter to that first they are in 3 places - deleted of course. Howver all I have to do is delete everything I want from other folders then every so often delete things from the deleted folder and then run the maintenance center wich will compact and remove the deletes from all the folders There may be a better way but this works for me. There are never any messages sitting in the account folders
We have asked for a tab that would show the deleted files in each folder and a flag to toggle the deleted status. A lot of people signed on to that wish list feature in the bug tracker.

If you want to deal with the deleteds individually you can highlight the folder and <ctrl>B and the last deleted message will show. From THAT window <ctrl><shift>L will open the list of them. It works but I still want the tab