When you want to be able to select the used address, you'd best create three entries in the address book. The other option is to enter the full address manually, but that's a bit counterproductive to having an address book.

Create three entries for your wife, add them all to the address book group 'wife' and you can use that address book group for filtering purposes and for personalized address book templates and you're still able to piuck the right address from the AB.

Just keep in mind that filters are processed top down. When your 'known' filter is the topmost filter, it'll pick everything with senders from your AB, so any AB based filters that are running afterwards won't pick anything.

Let's take an example.
You've got three entries for your wife, those belong to the group 'wife', but also to the group 'relatives'.
In order to drop messages from your wife in the folder wife and messages from your brother into the folder relatives and mail from your neighbours into the 'inbox-known' you'll need three filters.
First a filter that triggers on senders from the wife AB group
Second there's a filter that triggers on senders from the relatives AB group
And third you'll need your 'known filter'
As soon as you switch that order your filtering results will change.
But when you're also filtering on mail from mailing lists, their order doesn't matter compared to the wife and relatives filter (I presume that you've got the mailing list address in your AB, but not in the wife or relatives AB groups.)

I hope that this makes things a bit clear.

Note that all of TB's AB related features (and it has quite a lot of them) won't work properly/reliable when you've got the same addresses in multiple entries in your address book(s). You can add one entry to as many AB groups as you want, but don't use duplicate addresses.